I dont know how to get it off me...
At times, i feel so suffocated tt i can hardly drag myself to do anything..
Today is a public holiday, i wu usually go out with frens or if i stay home i will accompany mum out to shop or eat...
but recently i can hardly find the strength to do so...
Its all sinking in again...
Its affecting me quite alot tt i reli feel like escaping...
Feel like cuttin off contact with those hu are upsettin my life..
But for one to upset u, this person must be sm1 close or impt to u to be capable of creatin such a dilemma within u.
U will nv think of cuttin off contact with hi & bye friends cuz they werent significant enough to create such an impact...and even if they disappear suddenly in ur life, u may not even feel the difference.
Tts y its always not easy when u say u wish to break off contact with ppl cuz these ppl r significant in ur life.
U dun wan these ppl in ur life not cuz u cant stand the sight of them or their presence...
It just simply serves to remind myself tt this person no longer cares. No matter how much u hope this person will stay, u've to remind urself tt this person has left.
It also cuts off any hope tt u may still harbour ...
N cuz this person simply hurts so much tt u cant afford to keep them
It may be very heartless for me to tink of all these...it pains me more than anyth to cut off contact with ppl hu were once so dear ... but keepin them hurts more.
I talk so much abt breaking off contacts..but i nv found the courage to do it..i wish i can put some credibility to my words each time i said i gonna do it... i reli reli wish i could...
Trust me, each time i say it, at that point of time i'm reli determined to do it, but a few days after my weak will just always give in... i reli reli did tried....
Just give me more time n more of a courage n more of a steel heart...i will reli do it...
I dont wanna feel like a trash all the time.....it hurts
Oh dem it, a freakin emotional entry again..entry may be drafted again
posted by xian @ 1:59 AM
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